239 Silent screams & terrifying surprises

Silent screams and terrifying surprises

I am not a skittish person but will let go with an extremely loud shriek if I am surprised--sometimes terrifying those nearby. But lately, it seems as if many things I have read, watched, or observed, have put me over the proverbial edge with silent screams (and sometimes not so silent)!

It is bad enough that we have been bombarded with impeachment news daily so our regular TV time has been interrupted. Of course, this news is important, but it can be frightening and terrifying too on another level, so this adds to my frustration. 

This time of year, we often take in movies to break up the monotony of the long winter days. This is where my dilemma begins. We watched The Irishman which we knew was about organized crime. I won’t go into the specifics, but there are shocking parts that will keep one wondering what in the world!! For those who want to know more about Jimmy Hoffa, this is the film for you.

Moving on to 1917 which we knew was a World War I movie. It was very well-done and took a great deal of work with all the battle scenes. By the end, I was hoping the soldier would hurry up and get to where he needed to go! Again, the horrors of it stay with you for many days.

One of my favorite TV shows, This Is Us, just had to join in my frustrations with a terrifying ending to one of its episodes. We record the shows, so we can watch them when we want. I was catching up with a recent episode when it ends with one of the main characters coming face to face with a dark, scary intruder wielding a knife. His family is upstairs so he luckily diffuses the situation and the home invader runs out. I am surprised I didn’t let go with a full, blown scream. 

 Of course, it was at the end of the show so it was not explained in that episode. Luckily, I had the next one recorded so I could watch. This gave me chills for days. Dealing with the situation continues through the next couple of episodes and continues this scary scenario. Hopefully, it will end soon.

In the midst of all of this, I am reading The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood. I could have stopped at any time, but I am stubborn about finishing once I start a book, I have to get through it even if I despise it. This book would have been upsetting reading it at any time, but with the other episodes I have explained above, it was even more disturbing with hangings, executions, etc. I kept hoping things would change and they did gradually. I am reading the next book that is set later when the world established in this book starts to fail. Can’t wait to finish it. 

But now, we should have learned our lesson, but no! We were trying to watch the movies nominated for Academy Awards. Thus, we watched Once Upon A Time … In Hollywood. Innocent enough sounding but not at all! We are taken back to the late 1960s and Sharon Tate shows up in the movie so guess what--Manson and his cult are part of it. I won’t spoil the movie for our readers, but it doesn’t end the way it actually did. There is some pretty scary stuff in the film as well as some pretty violent events.

Continuing on, I had seen Tyler Perry on a talk show, where he had discussed his new movie A Fall from Grace. I just had to see it. It does involve fraud and abuse but ends with a shocking revelation. That is one ending that startled me, and I let out one of my blood-curdling screams. It does resolve with appropriate action, but what a shocker.

I am not recommending staying away from any of these, but be warned. I knew what I was getting into in most cases but it just seems more severe. 

A couple of reprieves from these very real dramas--Little Women, a film adaptation of the novel by Louisa May Alcott, and the sixth season of Grace and Frankie on Netflix. No murders, frauds, or other atrocities, so relax and take them in when you can.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Screaming savvy Frances         

238 Richard Parker, Slave Owner

Richard Parker, Slave Owner

I continue my research on Judge Richard Parker, the judge at John Brown’s trial in 1860. The chapter I am working on now is titled, “Richard Parker, Slave Owner.”

I want to like and respect the person I am writing about, but I cannot. Richard Parker owned slaves, as did most of the landed aristocracy of the locality. Researching the documents about the slaves he owned has made real to me the terrible tragedy of slavery and the seeming indifference of slaveholders to the plight of fellow human beings.

From a modern perspective, it is shocking and tragic to see men, women, and children listed as property along with cattle and ricks of hay in the appraisal of the estate of Parker’s father. Top of list one: Henry, a negro boy, $300. Top of continuation of the list: Ref heifer, $10.

Likewise, Richard Parker shows little empathy for the fate of a fellow human being in a comment on the sale of the slave Henry who would not stop running away: “Was forced to sell Henry on yesterday to Mr. Coons for $600. He had been thrown into jail and I was also told that he would certainly run off, if not sold—a melancholy duty in one having charge of slaves.”

He kept careful records in his journals of the revenues he received from the slaves he rented out to others. Only a few journals survive, but they provide the names and monies received for each. 

Records of the slaves he and his parents owned also show in the United States Census Slave Schedules. From 1840 to 1860, they owned up to 23 slaves.

Records of sales of slaves, show that both parties in the transactions were careful to note that the slave in question was “a slave for life.” His second cousin John Elliott Parker Daingerfield bought Milly from Parker in 1852 and sent him this letter:

"Dear Parker,
Servant Milly arrived safely on yesterday & I have today deposited four hundred & seventy-five ($475) dollars to your credit in the Bank of the Valley at Charlestown--being payment in full for Said Servant.

Enclosed herewith please find certificate of deposit for the above amt. on receipt of which please send me a bill of sale--stating the age--that she is a slave for life & that she is sold as sound and healthy. These precautions are not probably necessary between you & I, but in the event of my death it might be wise to have a bill of sale as above."

The only time that Richard Parker is on record helping slaves gain their freedom is in the case of Bennett Russell and Others vs. Negroes Juliet and Others, and I believe he was merely following the law. Jesse Russell has done excellent research in the Clarke and Frederick county court records as well as other sources to document the story of Juliet in his book, Juliet, from Slavery to Inspiration. (https://store.bookbaby.com/book/Juliet)

Parker represented the slaves that had been owned by John Russell Crafton (an ancestor of Jesse), who died in 1848. (It is unclear when Russell dropped the Crafton surname.) Russell stipulated in his 1839 will that his slaves be freed. 

His son, Bennett Russell, and siblings produced an 1842 Articles of Agreement that retracted the manumission. There is doubt about the authenticity of the articles. Parker represented Juliet in trials in 1849 and 1850 that both ended with a hung jury. By the time the case went to trial again in 1856, Parker had become a judge and could no longer serve as legal counsel in the case. The 1856 verdict was in favor of the heirs, and the slaves were sold.

It is difficult for me to view these documents in their historical context.
Generations of Christian God-fearing slave owners (as well as those engaged in the slave trade) could not acknowledge the hypocrisy of their lives. I can't be too sanctimonious. With many mediums informing us of all the problems and tragedies of our world, how will history judge our response?   

Trish               

238 Death Cleaning

“Death Cleaning” and What I Found

Hello, Readers, although I have no premonition of imminent demise, I found this Swedish idea of “death cleaning” a remarkable solution to get rid of all those items that I thought someday a child or a grandchild might want, but they don’t. 

What I am realizing is that the next generation just doesn’t want our stuff. That mahogany banquet table--yeah, right, it really fits in an NYC apartment! China? Good grief--we have enough china plates to serve 143 people--dear husband’s grandmother’s, one grandmother of mine, my mother’s, mine from my “starter” marriage, plus sets of four or five matching plates that seem to have sprung from nowhere. They are in the attic over the garage gathering dust! What the heck does anyone do with 143 plates? Actually, we keep 16 plates in our kitchen closet--eight every day and eight edged with forest green and gold for dinner in the dining room. Of course, the only one with a chip is the green and gold!

The premise of “death cleaning” is basically decluttering and saying goodbye to stuff--clothes, dishes, furniture, photos, knickknacks, etc. It is a good old-fashioned let’s get rid of this stuff! In 2017 a Swede named Margareta Magnusson wrote The Gentle Art of Death Cleaning. Get organized so no one else has to clean up after you are gone! What a grand idea.

So far, dear husband and I have set up in the garage a large table of “stuff” to take to Goodwill or some charitable shop. I have been through one (yes, just one) closet of clothes. We had our daughter help us go through 15 bags (grocery store size) of photos. Why did we ever have duplicates made? We literally have rid ourselves of a 30-gallon trash bag plus a clothes hamper of photos about whom/which NO ONE CARES! Some we had no idea who they were.

This past week, we decided to clean out the vinyl, 45 rpm records, tapes, and CDs. Behind one faded, covered-in-dust zippered case of tapes, we found a 6”x10” accordion file about 1½ inches thick. It was on the bottom shelf of a small closet below a set of bookshelves. Neither of us recognized it. It is off-white--essentially the color of the inside of the closet. We have lived in this house now for 20 plus years and neither of us admits to ever having seen it before!

The file is filled with ephemera from the past two-three generations on dear husband’s side of the family. The following is a photo gallery of some of the items in the file. I hope you enjoy it. It’s been a poignant journey through the past and fun as well.

We have no knowledge of this padlock or what it went to or even when-–dear husband thinks it is his grandmother’s writing. 

And this should come in handy – never! 

Dear husband’s step-grandfather flew in 1915. Guessing that was brave! 

Interesting mainly for date of 1924 and the one-cent cost. The back reads: “Dear Mother, I am having fun and thank you for the box you sent me. Your son, Ridge.” It is written in pencil and the 10-year-old likely had a supply of pre-addressed cards to send home.

Amazing prose for this 1927 wedding announcement . . . hard to read but I think “the bride looked radiant” would be edited out.

And why was this saved?

And our very favorite is from a letter to dear husband’s grandmother from her friend who was the travel agent. This agent made all the grandparents’ arrangements--even an around-the-world tour by ship. Seems the travel agent’s driver left her to become Cole Porter’s driver. No more details….

There are many more bits and pieces spread across the office table. Births, obituaries, photos (one with only the name Larry, 1937, on the back), cartoons, random newspaper clippings. We spent a whole evening reading and sorting. Okay, I am having a really hard time with “death cleaning” now. It makes me sad to see these thrown away. I must continue to think on this! I do like interesting “stuff.”

Savvy Glenne           

237 Books to start the decade

Books to start the 2020 decade

The last week few weeks have been filled with conversations about the new year and more specifically the new decade--2020. Here we are embarking on a new decade that will bring so much to our lives, and of course, we have no idea what some of it will be.

My reading during this time has included some history and some fiction that has brought many issues to light. The importance of family, how we handle what we must, what lies ahead, and where to go next are few of the themes that have surfaced.

I guess I should begin with the here and now rather than the look back at history. I have read all of the works by author Elizabeth Strout so when her new novel about the irascible character Olive Kitteridge came out, I had to purchase a copy. 

At first, I wasn’t sure I liked it as much as the first novel about Olive which was followed by a film of the same name, but as I continued reading, I realized I really did find merit in the book. 

The author includes chapters about people who encounter Olive and how that affects their lives. I won’t give away too much, but it brings in the family themes as well as coping mechanisms, as aging impacts her life and others she knows. I did like the ending which was one I could not have predicted. It leaves an opening for a possible third book about this character whom readers love to hate.

This summer I had purchased a book – “Mary Lincoln, Wife and Widow” by Carl Sandburg when we visited Sandburg’s home in Flat Rock, N.C. It was on my stack of those to be read soon. It did not disappoint.

It is not an easy read and is compiled from letters she wrote and others who wrote to her. It was originally published in 1932 and was out of print for many years. The most recent publication date is 2008, but there were several paperback printings in the 1980s and 1990s. It is available now at booksellers online and in stores so a trip to Flat Rock is not necessary, but it is a fascinating place to visit.

I had read about her and heard about her for decades so it was interesting to read her own words and those of people who knew her. It is a sad and tragic story of course, but this does shed light on her mental capacity and how this type of illness was treated in those days. There are strides in that area for sure, but it often seems as if we have a long way to go.

Her tremendous capacity to love not only her husband but her dear children is evident and the loss of all of them but one child would shake most people to their core.

Her shopping exploits were especially interesting when considering the era and how people lived. Ordering online was not even a tiny glimmer in those days, but I bet she would have loved it. She did manage to find what she wanted and run up tremendous debt. At the end, that was something that consumed her with thoughts of poverty and starvation.

It is certainly worth a read, but it takes concentration. I had to find a time with few distractions to take in all the observations that were so compelling.

Last but certainly not least is the book “We Have Always Lived in the Castle” by Shirley Jackson. I have always been a fan of Jackson’s who writes some unusual stories (“The Lottery” is one of her most famous), and this one did not disappoint. 

This was her final novel and is considered her greatest by many writers and experts. First published in 1962, other editions are still available.

She takes the reader into a world that is unsettling with characters and events that shake the core of what would be considered normal. The surprise comes close to the end, but I am sure many readers figured it out sooner. 

The family is peculiar in every way possible, and the story unfolds slowly and methodically. I don’t want to give away any more of the story, but it will stay with the reader for quite some time.

There it is – the 2020 decade and what I have been reading so far. All three present women who are memorable. Some are real and some are not. Those that are not real could easily be. What we chose to read is definitely a matter of taste. Not sure what this says about me but I do seem to veer towards certain writers and types. Happy reading this decade! 

Savvy Frances         

236 Diversions from football watching

Diversions from Football Watching

Football games galore--from Christmas to New Years--football games abound. And the pro play-offs and ACC league basketball are yet to come!

I have many schemes to keep hubby company and to sort of watch the games:

1. Write this blog!

2. Dust--although not a good idea to do directly in front of the screen!

Please throw
my toy, NOW!

3. Sort Laundry.

4. Pay bills online.

5. Play with Tootsie. Actually, any time Tootsie has the two of us as a captive audience (for her, not the TV), she expects playing.

6. Edit documents.

7. Read Facebook postings. Hubby is not usually interested in looking at cute dog videos, "Aren't you watching the game?"  [in my own way]

8. Load or unload the dishwasher.

9. Play solitaire. If I actually want to pay attention to a game, any version of solitaire will work. Sudoku, particularly if I play against the clock, takes me away from the game completely.

 

10. Watch a second game on my tablet. While we both watched Va Tech play basketball on the big screen, I watched Florida State on the handheld. Both teams won.

When a game, usually basketball, gets very tight at the end,(In fact, my philosophy on basketball is not to pay much attention to most of the game because the score can change so quickly.) I cannot stand the tension. I pull out the broom and sweep nearby, peaking around the corner to see if the Hokies can save the day.

As I have explained to Harry dozens of times, I never miss anything because all the important stuff is on instant replay!

Sport Savvy Trish           

 

235 My wish for 2020

MY WISH* for 2020 (*a sort of New Year’s Resolution) 

New Year’s Resolutions were always sort of a joke in our family. We were all going to be healthier, wealthier, and wiser. I think that sometimes these ideals would last until then end of January. More vegetables, fewer carbs. Oh, well, I guess our hearts were in the right place.

I do think, dear readers, that after all these years, I have some concerns that are worthy and would do me good to attempt improvement, but I have few passions. 

Miss America was on TV on the 19th of December (Miss Virginia, by the way, won this year). The aims of these young women are the same as they have been since I started watching the show as a teen: world peace, eradicate poverty, hunger, and provide quality education for all. I spent 30 plus years trying to aid in the education part, but I have had no tiara or beaded gown. I may have had a few successes with students. I may never know. Good luck, Miss America!

A librarian I was and am. Retired from being a school librarian, it is now my privilege to work part-time in a superior public library archives--the Stewart Bell, Jr. Archives of the Handley Regional Library. Working here has shown me that I am still passionate about the written word. It must be preserved and I don’t know how to do it! 

As I read/listen to the news each day, I am more and more concerned about the loss of newspapers. The Archives is filled with years (more than 150 years) of news reporting of our regional area. 

Interior workroom at the
Archives–example of
 boxes of written
records and photos 

Researchers depend on these microfilms, discs, and USB sticks of articles – many of them genealogical. And bless the Byrd family for giving to the Archives much of their archival holdings that did not convey to the new owners of The Winchester Star.

Here are some horrible facts for those of us who value local news: over 2000 American newspapers have shut their doors – almost all are local papers in the past decade (247WallSt.com). “More than 200 counties of the 3,143 counties in the United States [are] without any paper” (usnewsdeserts.com/reports). 

In many of these rural or suburban communities, the only reliable source of news and information was the local daily or weekly paper. The same article goes on to report that about “60% of these rural residents lack affordable high-speed access to wireless service” that would allow quick, efficient news.

Since before the United States became the United States, local news broadsheets kept communities informed and engaged. They held the popular and powerful to some account. The loss of local journalism is straining the fabric of our society. (Sorry, if I am “preaching to the choir.”)

Without local news reporting, elections become more about who has more money than about the issues. The public cannot be engaged in what is happening if not for news stories: e.g. how the town council voted on an issue (were the citizens even aware there was an issue?); a proposed tax increase; a new housing development; calendars of local events; sports; and, of course, the births, deaths, and marriages. 

The Columbia Journalism Review (accessed 12/26/19) reported, “a full 38 percent of Americans do not often access any local news at all.” How very, very sad, and how very, very scary.

I saved an article from the New York Times, Sunday, December 22, 2019, National News section, p. 29. It is titled “When a Newspaper Folds: A Community Does Not Know Itself.” Reporter Lara Takenaga amassed readers’ letters about their closed papers. In her introduction, she noted that not only do the readers no longer know what’s happening in their communities, but that the number of journalists in the country has been cut in half. IN HALF! 

We may remember from school days that journalism was the “Fourth Estate.” The first three were the clergy, the nobility, and the commoners. It was this fourth estate that kept everyone alert to what was happening in their milieu. Now apparently there is a FIFTH ESTATE. It is defined by Wikipedia as outlier journalists and bloggers who publish and have found a following on social media. Thank you, but I do not want my news from Twitter and Facebook. 

Please notice, too, the change in the many corner newsstands in NYC. The written word takes up little space any more. I admit to loving the trashy gossip on Page Six of the New York Post! I may have to subscribe….

So, readers, my resolution, with attached wish, is to research what can be done or is being done to help save true, investigative journalism by reliable people for community readers. If anyone has any ideas in- or out-of-the-box, maybe together we can find something. I hope so.

Happy, healthy 2020 to all!!

Savvy Glenne           

234 A simple question

A simple question 

During a recent visit to our home, our 8-year-old grandson asked us a simple question--are you lonely?

I guess the size of the house for two people may have prompted his question. We are still in the house where we raised his dad and aunt (our two children).

My immediate response was no. But on further reflection, I had to clarify my response and how my husband and I really feel.

We are not lonely in the true sense of the word. We have adjusted to a different life than we had when our house was full with our children and their friends who would visit often. We lived near the high school so our house was a gathering place. There was never a dull moment or a quiet time. Even college days brought house guests that we welcomed with open arms. 

Their absence conjures up memories and experiences we will never forget especially since we have remained in the same house. We certainly miss those days, but it has been a natural progression.

Both of our children have their own children and homes full of love and life. That is the way it is supposed to be. We are grateful for that and wish them all the love and fulfillment they can achieve. 

Of course, we miss them and think lovingly of those days gone by, but we would never want them to not progress on their own. We have always encouraged and promoted independence and self-reliance.

That doesn’t mean we aren’t there to celebrate every milestone of theirs and their children and help and assist in any way we can. Trips are taken monthly to visit those that live a state away and short local trips are on the calendar to help with pickups and deliveries. We relish every moment we can give to them and never respond negatively when asked to help

And we always appreciate any text or phone call to keep in touch and hear their dear, sweet voices.

So back to the question--are we lonely? I would say no but with the caveat I have explained. We miss those days and would not trade any of it. We are so grateful for their lives and hopeful for their futures. 

Sometimes it is jarring to think how fast we got to this stage of our lives. We implore all of you to enjoy and savor every moment you have together. 

So, during this holiday season, the three of us who share our blogs weekly with all of you offer to everyone sincere greetings for meaningful, happy holidays however celebrated.

Frances          

233 We're having a retirement!

We’re Having a Retirement!

By Teri S. Merrill 

“I think I may want to do something environmental, like take a master naturalist class,” my husband told me the other day. 

I nodded my head in agreement, but if a thought bubble could be seen over my head, it would read: “How does my Type A husband switch from being a full-time professional to watching butterflies?”

We were discussing what type of activities he may want to explore following retirement. And until that moment, I had never considered how much retirement planning feels strangely similar to the months before the birth of a first child. Now, however, we are simply pregnant with possibility about what comes next. And just like the pregnant couple we were almost three decades ago, we have more than a little trepidation.

His retirement has been announced, his successor is being sought, and in the meantime, we wait, talk, plan and wonder. People now stop us at community events or in the grocery line, congratulating us and asking when the big event will happen. 

We get excited about the trips we may take, the friends we can finally spend quality time with, the new things he will learn, and the flexibility we will have. But most of the time, I’m left thinking to myself: Is this really going to work?

That’s because his career in health administration has been a dominant force in our lives. Even today, my husband still works most weekends, is fully engaged in his demanding job, takes great satisfaction from his efforts, and sacrifices time with family and friends to get the job done. 

The prospect of my husband going from full throttle to no throttle is a bit like going from a full house to an empty house. The quiet of his career will be deafening at first, just like the cries of our newborn daughter. But eventually, we’ve been told, the cacophony of silence will be welcomed.

My husband takes comfort in those who tell him they miss the people, but not the pressure of work. Multiple retired friends and acquaintances have shared that Sunday afternoons are so much sweeter, and Monday mornings are now just another day of the week.

We are also doing a lot of reading, but instead of “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” we’re devouring articles about “Living Your Best Retired Self,” or “Retiring with Meaning,” or “Best Volunteer Jobs for Retirees.”

We’ve announced the big news to our families, friends, and coworkers. The date is unknown but drawing ever closer. We are making lists and cleaning out closets. We are doing our due diligence and trying to prepare. All that needs to happen now is the actual event. 

Just like new parents in waiting, we are excited, nervous, and ready to jump into this new, unknown world ahead of us. And just in case…I’ve already planted milkweed to draw in the butterflies. 

Teri                  

232 Travels with Tootsie

Travels with Tootsie

We have been taking road trips with Tootsie since she was six months old and it is always an adventure.

When we first started taking her along, she was in her cage in the back seat. Now the princess sits on my lap in the back seat while hubby drives all by himself in the front seat.

There is so much you must remember to bring--her pillow, her bed, her towel, her yummies, her food, her water. She has her own bag for all her necessities with her own packing list to make sure nothing is forgotten. 

We have learned not to bring out her toys in the motel room, however, since she then wants to bark and play. We do however bring a white noise machine to block out noise from the hall and to be a reassurance since it is the same sound she sleeps to at home.

Dog-Friendly has a different definition for each motel. We particularly like La Quinta because it is usually pretty nice and does not charge for dogs. But individual motels can differ from the party line. We stayed at one La Quinta where we had to sign a paper promising not to let the dog up on the bed--Sure, Right! It is hard to sleep with the dog if it is not allowed on the bed! Other motels advertise that they are dog-friendly but can charge up to $50 per pet!

Somehow hubby is always willing to stop to give Tootsie a break. I used to have to beg for a stop! Tootsie is always afraid she is going to be left in the car so she begins screaming as soon as the car slows down. We get very strange looks at rest stops!

Getting into the car with her can also be difficult because she wants to be on my lap even before I can sit down. It is an interesting maneuver to get in and then get both my and Tootsie's seatbelts attached.

The best clothes to wear light-colored cotton--nothing black or polyester because of all the white hair one little dog can shed!

In warm weather, there is no going into restaurants and leaving the dog in the car. We pack lunches and eat as we drive.

We have favorite walks with Tootsie in all the cities we regularly visit for Civil War shows. We enjoy walking in a nice old neighborhood in Richmond, the Battery in Charleston, and an old train track that has been turned into a walking path in Mansfield, Ohio. The walks also help with getting a good night's sleep in motels.

Travels with Tootsie are usually fun but rainy days are my least favorite. Wet dogs do have a distinct odor! 

But she always goes along!

                         Trish

231 Ready for December?

Are You Ready for December? 

Oh, my, dear readers, I am so NOT ready for it to be December yet. My “to-do” list is so long that it is now the “should-have-gotten-done” list. And, as the Christmas holiday season approaches, said list will get longer and longer. Thanksgiving is over. 

Black Friday was ignored by almost all of the family--we do it online!! Getting up EARLY is/was never a preferred option in our respective group--particularly not to find parking, to fight crowds, AND have one’s brain functioning to know what stores had what. By the way, the kitchen floor by the fireplace still has a pile of Black Friday ads that I would bet are at least a tree limb wasted. 

Thanksgiving is the time, I believe, when we are supposed to count our blessings and get along with one another. 

That means--in our families--politics is off-limits, sexual orientation is off-limits, and religion is “iffy.” 

Traditionally, we go around the table and say one thing for which we are thankful. Sometimes the responses are not what one hopes: “Thank goodness there is enough gravy this year” or “I am thankful no one brought sauerkraut.” Sometimes there ARE lovely sentiments, though. Ah, such are the memories we share. 

But to get to the real point of my blog this week is that I don’t think our citizens take the meaning of Thanksgiving --nor that of Christmas--in the spirit in which they were meant. We are less serious as a family than when I was little. No more early morning church on Thanksgiving Day. The Christmas midnight service for the past few years is dependent on the weather and how prepared we are for the next morning.

Holiday meanings have deteriorated, almost completely lost under a cloud of media hype, sales pitches, marketing, and commercialism. I see nothing in the news (print/radio/social media)--absolutely nothing--that says we are better off for having celebrated a fabulous and/or fabulously fattening dinner and watching lots of TV (generally football and more football) with family, friends, and loved ones. Nor has Black Friday helped me in any way! And have you seen the price for a live seven-foot fir tree? www.MarketWatch.com says $80-100! Gracious! I am glad The Nutcracker ballet is still a tradition!

Here are a couple of the occurrences that have made me even more discouraged for our country and our communities. You will notice they are very different, but each touched off a kind of sad rage in me.

A year or so ago, I wrote about school dress codes and how I felt they were unfair to girls. On www.mediaflare this week, in an article by staffer Jordan Donohue, the report was that a teenage girl had been removed from her class by a male administrator (interrupting the class, no less) who said her rip in one knee of her jeans was disrupting the

class and she was to be suspended. 

ONE RIP, ONE KNEE CAP--which did not entirely show! I find this to be sexism, victim blaming, and shaming. The administrator told the irate parents that the rip in the jeans could “cause boys (sic) hormones to react in a negative way and would disturb their education.” WHAT! Jeez! I, who think school uniforms may be a societal leveler in schools, am outraged by this. Here are the jeans in question: NOT FAIR! NOT FAIR! 

Then the following information really made an impact on my vague memories of all of the random gun violence stories. I have adapted it from a Washington Post article, "The Terrible Numbers that Grow….," November 18, 2019, by Bonnie Berkowitz, et al. Is no one safe? Anywhere? Ever? The places change, the numbers change, but the choice of weapon remains the same. In the United States, people who want to kill a lot of other people most often do it with guns. Public mass shootings account for a tiny fraction of the country’s gun deaths, but they are “uniquely terrifying because they occur without warning in the most mundane places.” Most of the victims are chosen not for what they have done but simply for where they happen to be. 

Berkowitz continues: “There is no universally accepted definition of a public mass shooting, and this piece defines it narrowly. It looks at the 170 shootings in which four or more people were killed by a lone shooter (two shooters in a few cases). It does not include shootings tied to robberies that went awry, and it does not include domestic shootings that took place exclusively in private homes. A broader definition would yield much higher numbers.” 

Okay, elected officials – we need gun laws and we need them now! One company is called www.cheaperthandirt.com (does that say something in itself?) and then I found this photo of a Miss Kitty gun. MISS KITTY?

WHAT! The price run from $500 to $1000 and up according to Google. Also, please note that everything I read about the AR-15 says it is called a DEFENSIVE weapon and not an ASSAULT rifle. How, pray tell, does AR translate to “defensive?” I find this very SCARY! VERY SCARY! 

Where is grace and peace and understanding? I need to cheer up! We are relatively healthy (considering age, etc.), we have a nice home and great friends. But I want more for the world we will leave to future generations. 

Maybe the fact that I love winter and snow will help. The cold temperatures give me a feeling of a cleansed earth, of time for reflection, and a period of silence. (Question: where does sound go when there is silence?) To me, there is nothing more lovely than a winter sky with twinkling stars or fresh snow when your footprints are the first ones to leave their mark in white purity. I think I just need some snow and SOON (and maybe even in NYC!)

Merry Everything &

A Happy Always!

Glenne