015 MAX

MAX

Max is our seventh Schnauzer. He’s a two-year-old neutered male and our first white Schnauzer. He is a master manipulator with the biggest heart in the world. Max is a people person and an extrovert with an incredible amount of energy.  He thinks being with “his people” is the most fun a dog can have. He wants to be with us 24/7. This includes the bathroom and the bedroom. 

"Your blanket?  Huh?

"I hear something!"

He is spunky and does not know that he is smaller than the female Chow who lives across the road. He is a great guard dog. His bark alerts us to guests, the UPS man, the oil delivery, and the wind blowing, the squirrel who ran up the tree, shadows under the night light on the garage. In his two years, he has earned the sobriquet Mad Max. 

Max is stubborn and intelligent. I swear he understands what I am telling him. But really, really stubborn! Sometimes he looks at you and continues doing what he wants. It’s like he put paws over his ears and sang “la la la – I can’t hear you.” Most of the time, though, he follows every command. 

Remember that Schnauzers are terriers and bred to be ratters. The instinct is still there. Max, at about six months old, brought us a still wiggling, tiny field mouse locked between his jaws. Tried to coax him to let go; grabbed a plastic bag to try to extract said field mouse not yet dead. NOPE! Max sits back on his haunches and swallows it – whole and wiggling. Gross! We watched him all evening waiting for some sign of gastric distress. No problem. Okay, so creatures don’t upset his stomach – how about a tube of Preparation H? Nope, no problem there either. Apparently the door under the bathroom sink was not tightly closed. Wondered what the sticky stuff was on the floor. Max was discovered on OUR BED chewing on the tube. Again, gross. Again, no problem.

"Got in a LOT of trouble!"

Max’s haunches are like solid rocks. This means he can leap and bound wherever and whenever he wants. Up on the table in the office to get snacks out of the dog biscuit jar. We have to put food up higher than he can jump or it is gone. 

 He does not like, however, noodles. I brought home take-out beef stroganoff and put it on the kitchen counter. I made the mistake of answering the phone. When I went back to the kitchen, the Styrofoam container was on the floor with the noodles plastered to the bottom of the box and on the rug, but all the beef and gravy was gone. Max sat and smiled. I swear he smiled! Not long ago he walked by my husband sitting in his easy chair with newspaper on his lap and half a sandwich in his hand. Yep, snatched that sandwich and bounded out the house! "I am sorry; I really am!"

"I am sorry; I really am!"

So, you are getting the idea that this is one poorly trained, bad dog. In our defense, please remember he is our SEVENTH Schnauzer. We have trained and treated him as we have all those before him during 35 years of our marriage. But Max is different! He is greatly loved, but is often scolded, crated, and/or confined. After his time outs, he makes apologies worthy of a diplomat. He runs, leaps on you and hugs you around the neck with his two front paws. Or he lies on his back with all four feet in the air, his head cocked sideways with the “I know I was bad, but I love you” look, asking for a tummy rub.  

I looked up Schnauzer traits on the internet and found the same highlights from a number of sources: people-oriented, affectionate, noisy, protective, energetic, and destructive and not to be trusted around small objects or animals he can put in his mouth. Yes, even played with a black snake under the car! Max fits all of these personality traits. In his two years he has cost us money in replacement objects. 

We no longer purchase pillows with feathers!! 

But why is he so smart and yet so different from the gentle dogs before him. And he sheds. Never had a Schnauzer before who shed. Also, our vet has cautioned us that Max is over the height and weight limit for a purebred miniature Schnauzer - usually 14” tall and weigh between 17-20 lbs. Max, who weighed in at just four pounds when we brought him home, is now 17” tall and weighs 27 lbs! “Curiouser and curiouser.”

For my last birthday, my husband ordered a doggy DNA test as my gift.  And this is what

we found: Max’s mother and her five generation line is purebred Schnauzer. Someone did not install a Dogwatch fence for his father’s line. Back three or more generations the DNA showed GREAT PYRANEES and Wheaten Terrier and Shih Tzu and miniature Dachshund! Somebody played around! 


But whichever breed(s) played a part in creating “Mad Max,” we love this dog and he returns our affection with his own unconditional love.

Glenne