104 Not the heat

It’s NOT the Heat ~
I Know: It IS HEAT PLUS HUMIDITY

Dear Readers, hello from what I consider hell on earth. It is 7:15 p.m. on a sultry summer evening. It’s 88 degrees but feels 93 (Accuweather)! 

It’s 7:15 p.m. I mean really! This is NOT fun. Our lake is about a football field distance from the house (you remember, where the dreaded Canada geese are), so I have my “Amazon PREMIUM citronella candle burning” to attract the mosquitoes before they get to me. 

Mosquitoes LOVE me! Hormones? Didn’t think I had any left! Then I made the mistake of looking in the mirror a few minutes ago. My face is red and splotchy. I even put my pile of frizzy (humidity 77%) grey hair in a pseudo-ponytail to get it off my neck. 

You may remember from prior blogs that our 1808 house is not air conditioned. It’s a wonderfully built old place, though. The thermometer here on the desk reads 78. Not bad. The exhaust fan is whirring away. The two Schnauzers are comatose. On a cooler evening, they would be barking at fireflies.

I am waiting for the 60% (Accuweather) chance of rain. I hear thunder in the distance. Were I of American Indian descent I would go perform a rain dance. However, English and Russian genes prefer other than this weather. 

Oh, just call me Scarlett O’Hara without Rhett and petticoats. I don’t know how southerners lived in the “good old days.” I really just don’t know. I am alabaster pale. I do not tan. I get red, breakout out in prickly heat rash as well as those splotches. Heat gives me headaches and stomach aches. I would prefer not to move many muscles until October. Keep checking back with me though; maybe I will be more fun this winter!

While the other two SAVVY BROADS are out enjoying the sunshine, taking walks, and being good, health-conscious women, I am sitting here drinking water, diet Cokes, iced tea, and any other cold, non-alcoholic liquid anyone hands me! 

Just for the record, I don’t like sand. NOPE, not going to the beach or on a cruise. I don’t like picnics. Our lawn looks green and smooth, but it’s not. It’s bumpy and lumpy to walk on. Yes, enough is enough. No more whining. I am cheering myself up with funny cartoons. Obviously other people agree with me as there were hundreds of amusing sites from which to choose. 

Oh, just one factoid for this blog: According to a Huffington Post study, the number #1 Smartphone use is checking the weather. Does this help or does it just confirm the agony? 

Stay cool. Enjoy YOUR time in the sun. Glenne