Not my obit!
My name is pretty common but not so much that there are hundreds of Frances Lowes. If I use my maiden name of Chirico, the percentage goes way down. But recently a Frances Lowe was listed in the local newspaper in the obituaries.I remember when we moved to Winchester, Va. more than 50 years ago that there was a woman by my name. She was shocked when she found out I had her name and had moved to Winchester.
I had signed a petition trying to save the demolition of a gorgeous old mansion in the downtown area. I don’t remember if she told me directly or I heard from someone else that she was surprised and knew she had not signed the petition.
Fast forward to 2019 and the lady passed away in her late 90s. In addition, the obit had a photo that definitely was not me! So why would so many of my friends and acquaintances tell me they had seen the obit and had been shocked at first. But as they read on, they realized it was not me.
Not many people have had the opportunity to have reactions to what is perceived as their obit. It has been startling, shocking, and somewhat kind. So many of them told me how relieved they were whey they realized it was not me. I handled most reactions with humor as I said--did you notice the age, did you see the photo! They said the name is what caught their eye so it took a few seconds to process the rest of the obit.
Fast forward to 2019 and the lady passed away in her late 90s. In addition, the obit had a photo that definitely was not me! So why would so many of my friends and acquaintances tell me they had seen the obit and had been shocked at first. But as they read on, they realized it was not me.
Not many people have had the opportunity to have reactions to what is perceived as their obit. It has been startling, shocking, and somewhat kind. So many of them told me how relieved they were whey they realized it was not me. I handled most reactions with humor as I said--did you notice the age, did you see the photo! They said the name is what caught their eye so it took a few seconds to process the rest of the obit.
One irony to the situation is the first job I had at the local newspaper at the ripe old age of 16 was writing the obits. I had to call the funeral homes and take them all down by hand and then type it on a manual typewriter! That is one job I will never forget.
I see hundreds of area residents when I work as an election official in my precinct. This year was shortly after the obit appeared. You can’t imagine how many people told me they were so relieved it wasn’t me on the obituary page. They also had to share that they thought it had to be an accident or a quick illness. Thank goodness, it was neither! But it was interesting to hear the general concern they had felt and then the relief of the reality. Thank you all for such sincere responses.
Not that I am glad it was the other Frances Lowe for her family and friends are mourning, but I am glad to still be here at least for the time being. It is interesting to view our mortality and know that it could have easily been me. It was comforting to know so many people were upset when they thought I had left the earth. I hope the shock of thinking it was me or the realization that it wasn’t me didn’t cause any damage to those who reacted to it.
I remember my father, Antonio Chirico, and his reaction at the funeral of his twin brother, Antonino Chirico. The poor priest kept saying Antonio instead of Antonino--they both had gone by nicknames so the priest had a tough job keeping it all straight.
Every time, my dad’s name was said--he loudly proclaimed that’s my name. We all could hardly keep a straight face and I am sure his twin would have loved it. They enjoyed playing jokes on each other. A family member quickly explained to the priest about the confusion of the one letter difference in the name. I now understand some of my father’s angst. When you are definitely alive, it is disconcerting to be thought the other way.
Not that I am glad it was the other Frances Lowe for her family and friends are mourning, but I am glad to still be here at least for the time being. It is interesting to view our mortality and know that it could have easily been me. It was comforting to know so many people were upset when they thought I had left the earth. I hope the shock of thinking it was me or the realization that it wasn’t me didn’t cause any damage to those who reacted to it.
Every time, my dad’s name was said--he loudly proclaimed that’s my name. We all could hardly keep a straight face and I am sure his twin would have loved it. They enjoyed playing jokes on each other. A family member quickly explained to the priest about the confusion of the one letter difference in the name. I now understand some of my father’s angst. When you are definitely alive, it is disconcerting to be thought the other way.
I am sure there are others who have experienced this type of misunderstanding since so many names are duplicates throughout the world. Often, family members have close or even identical names, but when it is not family, it is a little more surprising.
I think it was the position of the name on the top of the obit page that caused the stir. Friends have told me it was in a prominent position so it was even more alarming. One friend said he knew it wasn’t me because I would definitely use the funeral home where he worked, not the competition as she had,
I can’t help but think there are probably some of my former middle and high school students out there that think it was about time old Mrs. Lowe passed on or they thought I had been gone for years. Some could have even celebrated!
I can’t help but think there are probably some of my former middle and high school students out there that think it was about time old Mrs. Lowe passed on or they thought I had been gone for years. Some could have even celebrated!
Please know that when you see me, it is not my ghost but the real me for now! A special thanks to those who were so sweet. It is nice to know that people were sad when they thought I was gone and relieved when they found out I was still around. What a crazy trip this has been.
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