Sunday, February 23, 2020

242 Teri Merrill on family quirks

Family quirks and crazy stories: Do other people do that?


By Teri S. Merrill 


“Madeline…come Madeline,” I called out the other day. I was trying to get the attention of my 8-pound Chihuahua. Was she ignoring me because her name isn’t Madeline? 
I was calling Dixie by my daughter’s name, for what may have been the 100th time since adopting her (the dog, not the daughter). And in that moment I had to wonder: do other people do that? 

That, dear reader, has been the common refrain in my family when we do something we think may be singular to us.

Do other people, for example, spend the better part of an hour at dinner trying to figure out the difference between a personality trait and a quirk? And then try to determine who in the family has the most quirks (turns out, I do). Do other people discuss which family member they would eat first on a deserted island? Or which scenario is preferable: facing a leopard on a hiking trail or in a boxing ring? Do other people spend time discussing similarly esoteric topics, with no conclusions but a lot of heated debate and laughter?
Do other people, on long car drives, entertain themselves by creating an ad to sell high-end purses to clients in the Middle East? No one in my family remembers why we started this offbeat line of discussion, but soon we had a company named “Dooney and Burqa.” 

Our target market would be the “Ladies of the Euphrates.” We would offer limited colors: camel, sand and camo. We entertained ourselves with this random idea, and laughed ourselves into fits, all the while wondering, as we sat in post-holiday traffic, if other families were doing the same.

So much about raising children includes storytelling, either real or imagined. Have other couples made up fantastical stories about their pre-parenting era? My husband and I created an impossible tale about our dating years, in which we both worked at a circus, he as the ringleader, and I as an acrobat who rode a magnificent horse—rider and equine both adorned with large, billowy plumes.

No matter that it was completely untrue, my kids loved the story. Naturally, we continued to embellish it over the years, with my athletic feats on the horse becoming more daring as the years passed. The only disappointment my kids had with the story as they grew older was that there would be no horse for a pet.

Does anyone else make up words and refrains to songs that they know are just plain wrong but make more sense than the original? Do other people dance in the kitchen to a mix of songs and artists, from Brad Paisley to Lake Street Dive to Alabama Shakes? 


Do other people play “Parcheesi” or “Clue” or “Jenga” with the laser focus of a gambler on a lucky streak in Las Vegas, because no one in the family wants to lose? Do other people use words like “beckon” and “perchance” and “shan’t” in casual conversation?

I’ve found that whenever my family stops and asks that question, it’s typically because we’re having a particularly happy moment when everyone is joining in the conversation or activity and feels safe to say what they think.

So when we ponder: Do other people do that, I know it’s because we have given each family member enough love, respect and space to be themselves. Every family is stronger when it’s made up of strong individuals.

Do other people do that? I sure hope so.

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