Seriously?
“‘Tis the season,” dear blog readers, to be either patient or irritated or wishing you had stayed home and used the internet for shopping. The weekend newspapers each had a veritable tree in paper ads. The traffic is getting more frustrating. Does everyone over 16 own a car? Or a BIG pick-up truck? Thirty thousand folks (plus or minus) live in our town but driving from our west side home to the east side post office took 20 minutes – just to get to stand in line. The nearest ‘super store,’ grocery store, and pharmacy all had long lines this weekend, so I spent my waiting time, leaning on my cart, and reading the tabloids at the checkout counters.
The headlines are ridiculous, hysterical, and just down right dumb. But I just love’m and they helped me pass the time.
My favorite is the New York Post, particularly p.6 where all the “juicy stuff” is.
I feel a need to share some favorites with you. (Some are a little risqué; if I offend, here’s the apology now.)
I feel a need to share some favorites with you. (Some are a little risqué; if I offend, here’s the apology now.)
Population to double by 2040: Babies to Blame
- Missippi’s (sic) Literacy Rate Improves
- Dead Man Found in Graveyard
- Statistics Show Teen Pregnancy Rates Drops after Age 25 (really? 21?)
- Baby Found in Wal-Mart Trash is Burrito
- Shamed by You (sic) English? (an advertisement improving your English!)
Planes Forced to Land at Airports
One-Half Off or 50% - whichever is less (yes, another advertisement)
- Lawyer Back Despite Use of Bug Spray
- Hand Wash Facilities Required at Food Festivals (GOOD!)
- Study Shows Sex Enhances Pregnancy (so that’s how it happens? Eye roll here)
- Hospital Resorts to Hiring Doctors (no comment; just NO COMMENT)
People Who Prefer Black Coffee More Likely to Be Psychopaths
- Most Earthquake Damage Caused by Shaking
- Meeting on Open Meetings is Closed (Nebraska town meeting)
Beekeeper Caught in Sting
- Dog Trigger Pulls Trigger on Hunting Trip (yep, shot his owner)
20% of Teens Surveyed Think Fish Fingers are the fingers of fish
- Feds Crack Down on Not-So-Hot Tamales at Airport (apparently this one is true – someone from south of the border tried to smuggle 450 pork tamales in his suitcase!) (TSA agent smelled something “funny”)
[too many Trump headlines from which to choose, but this image makes me laugh!]
AND the BIG Question of the day:
Is Prince Harry’s One-Night Stand Pregnant???
Two tabloids say “yea” and two say “nay.”
(Wonder what Queen Grannie has to say?)
I am sure you will see others headlines that make you shake your head and roll your eyes, but this sampling may help get you in the mood if you need to get out and about anytime soon!
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