151 #metoo

                                 

Say it ain’t so—is the expression that comes to mind as each day as we are bombarded with another sexual offender, abuser, or downright pervert.

Daily we hear more and more cases of blatant, subtle, overt, or sneaky cases of women or sometimes children being subjected to unwanted attention, touches, groping, and more.

The latest offender as I write this blog is another big name in TV. I am in shock and total disgust as I hear and read more about the allegations. What must have been going through the minds of these young women who endured these type of advances for various reasons and were ignored or rebuked when they reported it.


By the time this blog is published, it is hard to tell how many more will be added to the hall of shame. Powerful people have a definite advantage when they control desirable employment that can be used to defile and intimidate women as well as men. But this should never be the case!

from Wikipedia

I don’t think any of us can deny what we have endured throughout our lives is similar to what we are hearing. These examples actually trigger in us the disgust that we felt when it happened and the reaction we stifled or handled in our own unique ways.

Many examples in my own life have surfaced as I hear more and more situations revealed. I guess I had hidden them way back in my memory, but they have been unleashed.

A teacher at our high school could surround you in a way you couldn’t escape when you asked a question during a lab. The answer to this predicament--don’t ever ask him a question. He was also handicapped which was shocking that he could maneuver like that.

Another example was when I served as a guide for high school college night, an older man, representing a Methodist school, wanted to hug tightly and embrace his young, high school helpers. The answer to this was to keep a safe distance and move away before he could land his arms for a disgusting embrace.

I never mentioned these events to anyone. There seemed to be an unspoken code that other girls knew too, but we handled it the best we could.

Other instances took place as I entered into adulthood and reactions were different. The man who exposed himself and continued to masturbate on the subway several seats away stopped when the train arrived out of the tunnel amidst bright sunlight. He exited as if nothing had happened in the least bit unusual. My friend and I shielded our young daughters from the grotesque image and were shocked that nothing stopped this horrid display. There was no one to report it to at the subway station so that made it even more disgusting.

The man who sat by my young daughter and friend in a movie theater found out how fast mothers could swoop down and move them away from his leering before anything happened. This was reported, but it is amazing how fast these predators disappear.

As I re-entered the workforce after taking a break when my children were born, I handled a situation of unwanted advances very differently than I had in high school. When a co-worker touched my buttocks as I stood in front of him in a line, I turned around, took my fist and punched this assailant in the ribs without any hesitation.

I was angry not only for the violation of my body but also because he ran before I could finish my thrashing. This took place in front of many others so that made it really shocking, but at least I wasn’t alone with this degenerate in a compromising situation. One friend who saw it was in total shock and couldn’t believe what she had witnessed.

Believe me, I didn’t stay quiet this time. As we age, I guess we realize we don’t have to put up with the unwanted touches, advances, or other ways of being degraded. We certainly did nothing to warrant this type of attention.

Hopefully, these recent revelations on the national scene will change the culture and make those guilty behave and those that were defiled speak up loud and clear.

Shout it out and don’t let anyone take your dreams and aspirations away or keep you from continuing what you set out to do. Jail sentences and loss of jobs will hopefully be a deterrent for these despicable creatures.

(This is a more serious blog than we usually write, but I felt it is a women’s issue that cannot be ignored.)

Frankly Frances                                      

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