061 Ten strange labels

10 STRANGE Labels    

Or Someone Did Something Not Very Bright

One of the TV shows our family watched together was 60 Minutes--for years and years. My personal favorite on the show were the commentaries by curmudgeon Andy Rooney, he of the bushy eyebrows and cynical take on everyday life. 

Recently I found a twenty-odd year old book of his essays. Flipping through it, the realization came to me that the world has not changed. 

One was the cautionary story about not removing the tags from pillows “under penalty of the law.” As a child, I was sure police would arrive with handcuffs if I removed said tag.

Alas, I am a label reader. Yes, I read directions, too. I read ingredients. I am sure if Andy Rooney were still around he would have a grand time with some of my favorite labels.

#10.

In a college’s self-serve dining hall: the notice reads – “ please do not put buttered bread into the toaster; do not use fork to remove toast.” (Do not stick your finger in a light socket either!)

#9.

New Jersey gas pump (where it is still illegal to pump your own gas): “Please PRE-PAY in ADVANCE.”

#8. 

From a pizza company called One Big Pizza: remove plastic wrap before heating; cook with crust-side down. (okay – this is a funny mental picture!)

#7. 

Wal-Mart fish tank: Additional suggested purchases include rocks, aquatic plants and fish. (Really--fish! What a good idea!) aquarium

#6. 

Craftsman mower: do not attempt to remove blade when mower is running. (no comment)

#5.

Jigsaw puzzle box: assembly required. (again, no comment)

#4. 

Child-sized Batman costume: costume does not enable child to fly (Well, shoot--he had such hopes!)

#3.

Clemson, SC road sign: “CAUTION – water on road during rain.” (Isn’t there a college in Clemson called Clemson that has a good reputation?!?)

#2. 

Rowenta Iron: “do not use hot iron while wearing clothes.” (I think I understand what was meant?)

AND MY FAVORITE #1. 

San Antonio, TX: 

Cemetery Road--DEAD End. 

(irony--I love irony!)

Can’t help but wonder if there were legal suits in some of the above. And the backstories must be hilarious.

If you enjoyed these, please post your favorite labels! 

SavvyBroad Glenne

060 Savvy Summer

Savvy summer

Weary winter

When Labor Day arrives, I go into my usual period of mourning that comes on with the end of summer and the arrival of fall. I am a summer freak---I love it. 

Bring on the heat, humidity,

longer days, sandals, 

Bermuda shorts, family trips, 

and beach vacations!

I thrive on summer and come to life after surviving long, cold winters and chilly spring days. Some people are the opposite and can’t wait for the colder temps, snow, ice and all the other hazards of winter, but definitely not me. I have tried to rein in my extreme feelings about the change of seasons, but I am not very successful. Putting away sandals and other summer garb can be extremely stressful.

Don’t get me wrong – I love air conditioning and all the modern conveniences that make the seasonal extremes more comfortable. But knowing that it is warm and sunny outside sustains me while I bask in indoor cooling. 

Why do the warmer months fly by with a myriad of activities to keep everyone busy, but bring on winter and the days creep by as we are trapped indoors, iced in by snow and sleet, with events canceled on a regular basis and so little daylight.

While I truly love the weather and colors of fall, I view them as warnings of what is to come ---nasty, nasty winter. Fall days pass too quickly leading up to the dreaded months of cold.

I have made a resolution this year to try very, very hard to enjoy every day of fall and not even think for one second of what will follow--that’s not going to happen--but I am going to try. 

Friends have told me they feel the same way and are also trying to enjoy autumn’s treasures. Maybe as a group we can overcome the dire anticipation of winter!

Every falling leaf used to bring on a rapid heart rate as I dreaded the bare trees and bleak colors of winter. But I am going to appreciate every colorful flying object that is freed from its branch as it makes its way to the ground.

Who am I kidding --- I will probably still dread winter but maybe manage to get through it with hopefully a tiny bit of enthusiasm – ha!  One bright spot is I do enjoy some of the fashions – boots, sweaters, coats -- so a few new wardrobe additions might make it just a little better.

This past winter brought a little break. It was the first winter that we were both retired so we could head south to escape the weary winter days. It was amazing. No boots, shovels, gloves, hats, and heavy coats were allowed. Toes were freed from heavy socks and got to relax in airy sandals. It sure didn’t seem like February!

But I was very bad the rest of last winter. I usually walk outside in the warm months and was going to try to bundle up and keep walking-- that didn’t work. I really meant to go to the gym, but that didn’t happen either. Maybe this year will be different. (I doubt it.)

I am not sure why I have such strong feelings about the end of summer. Possibly my heritage dictates some of it. My family on both sides came from the very southern tip of Italy – “the toe of the boot” as my mother would say. The area is very warm with mild winters. I am not sure that has any scientific validity for my extreme dislike of the cold months, but it makes sense to me.

I know there is nothing I can do to stop the onslaught of bitter cold days. I will try to be tolerant and head south to Florida as soon as I can and stay as long as possible!

Frances        

059 Zen & Trim

The Zen of Trim Painting

I’ve been painting a lot of indoor trim lately. When you paint trim, you have a lot of time to think.

And I think painting trim is a lot like life:

• If you are not prepared, everything will go wrong.

• Even the most menial jobs have value.

• You must be relaxed to do a competent job.

• Use the right tool to do the job.

• Natural light is always best.

• A good support system (ladder) is always important.

• Don’t rush to do a good job. Patience is important.

• Don't worry about mistakes--most can be fixed.

• No matter how well you do it, you will eventually have to do it again!

• Keep the dog and other innocent bystanders away & safe.

• Always clean up.

Now that I have all that out of my system,

I HATE PAINTING TRIM!

  Trish         

058 Labor Day

Labor Day--Why and When

Well, dear readers, I learned something from writing this blog! The government’s philosophical mission statement says that the first Monday in September, created by the labor movement, is a holiday dedicated to the achievements of American workers who contributed to the strength and prosperity of the United States. That is nice though it does not tell the labor movement story.

Here is just a bit of the labor movement story – or the story behind the story. Seems there were two men with last names pronounced alike. Matthew Maguire, a union member machinist from the Central Labor Union of NY, made a proposal to hold a rally and a picnic. His union adopted his proposal. The year was 1882 and the month September. 

Almost simultaneously, Peter J McGuire, general secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and co-founder of the American Federation of Labor (AFL) proposed a holiday in September to honor those “who from rude nature have delved and carved all the grandeur we behold”(AFL historical records). The year was 1882 and the month September. Both groups went ahead with their plans.

McGuire wanted a parade; Maguire wanted a rally and family outing.  and {parade pix} On Tuesday, September 5, 1882, crowds began to descend on New York City. Journalists suggest that over 10,000 people marched in the parade.  Side note: Why Tuesday and not Monday in 1882? 

Apparently, the men worked on that Monday, checking in with their labor union reps to make sure it was really all right to participate. Then they began heading into the city on Monday night and Monday’s plans were held on that Tuesday.

By 1896, President Grover Cleveland, aware of the growing labor movement, declared a national Labor Day holiday.

Okay! So Labor Day has been consistently celebrated for some 133 years. Somewhere along the way in my school years, I do not remember being taught this origin. 

 

I always “assumed” (and you know what we say about THAT) that Labor Day signified the end of summer holidays and the beginning of fall clothes, fall sports, new crayons, school, and . . .

yes, especially football – leading to significant brain changes for some people. 

I remember my grandmother taking white slipcovers off couches and chairs and rehanging dark, heavier drapes. Time to get ready for fall and winter. No more white shoes! Heaven forbid! I did a little research the reason for “no white after Labor Day.” The answer from several websites is that Labor Day marked the return of the wealthy from their Newport cottages to the soot and dirt of the city. Heaven forbid their summer whites would be soiled. { In all honestly, though, if I had those white shoes I wouldn’t want them dirty either!

Over the years, I am sure there have been labor union festivities, rallies, and demonstrations along with the fun of a day off. These I did NOT research as that would be too much labor! 

In keeping with the spirit of this 133 year old holiday, we will be doing nothing. Banks closed. Post office closed. Oh, maybe we’ll grill something.

Have a safe and peaceful day!

Glenne