061 Ten strange labels

10 STRANGE Labels    

Or Someone Did Something Not Very Bright

One of the TV shows our family watched together was 60 Minutes--for years and years. My personal favorite on the show were the commentaries by curmudgeon Andy Rooney, he of the bushy eyebrows and cynical take on everyday life. 

Recently I found a twenty-odd year old book of his essays. Flipping through it, the realization came to me that the world has not changed. 

One was the cautionary story about not removing the tags from pillows “under penalty of the law.” As a child, I was sure police would arrive with handcuffs if I removed said tag.

Alas, I am a label reader. Yes, I read directions, too. I read ingredients. I am sure if Andy Rooney were still around he would have a grand time with some of my favorite labels.

#10.

In a college’s self-serve dining hall: the notice reads – “ please do not put buttered bread into the toaster; do not use fork to remove toast.” (Do not stick your finger in a light socket either!)

#9.

New Jersey gas pump (where it is still illegal to pump your own gas): “Please PRE-PAY in ADVANCE.”

#8. 

From a pizza company called One Big Pizza: remove plastic wrap before heating; cook with crust-side down. (okay – this is a funny mental picture!)

#7. 

Wal-Mart fish tank: Additional suggested purchases include rocks, aquatic plants and fish. (Really--fish! What a good idea!) aquarium

#6. 

Craftsman mower: do not attempt to remove blade when mower is running. (no comment)

#5.

Jigsaw puzzle box: assembly required. (again, no comment)

#4. 

Child-sized Batman costume: costume does not enable child to fly (Well, shoot--he had such hopes!)

#3.

Clemson, SC road sign: “CAUTION – water on road during rain.” (Isn’t there a college in Clemson called Clemson that has a good reputation?!?)

#2. 

Rowenta Iron: “do not use hot iron while wearing clothes.” (I think I understand what was meant?)

AND MY FAVORITE #1. 

San Antonio, TX: 

Cemetery Road--DEAD End. 

(irony--I love irony!)

Can’t help but wonder if there were legal suits in some of the above. And the backstories must be hilarious.

If you enjoyed these, please post your favorite labels! 

SavvyBroad Glenne