061 Ten strange labels

10 STRANGE Labels    

Or Someone Did Something Not Very Bright

One of the TV shows our family watched together was 60 Minutes--for years and years. My personal favorite on the show were the commentaries by curmudgeon Andy Rooney, he of the bushy eyebrows and cynical take on everyday life. 

Recently I found a twenty-odd year old book of his essays. Flipping through it, the realization came to me that the world has not changed. 

One was the cautionary story about not removing the tags from pillows “under penalty of the law.” As a child, I was sure police would arrive with handcuffs if I removed said tag.

Alas, I am a label reader. Yes, I read directions, too. I read ingredients. I am sure if Andy Rooney were still around he would have a grand time with some of my favorite labels.

#10.

In a college’s self-serve dining hall: the notice reads – “ please do not put buttered bread into the toaster; do not use fork to remove toast.” (Do not stick your finger in a light socket either!)

#9.

New Jersey gas pump (where it is still illegal to pump your own gas): “Please PRE-PAY in ADVANCE.”

#8. 

From a pizza company called One Big Pizza: remove plastic wrap before heating; cook with crust-side down. (okay – this is a funny mental picture!)

#7. 

Wal-Mart fish tank: Additional suggested purchases include rocks, aquatic plants and fish. (Really--fish! What a good idea!) aquarium

#6. 

Craftsman mower: do not attempt to remove blade when mower is running. (no comment)

#5.

Jigsaw puzzle box: assembly required. (again, no comment)

#4. 

Child-sized Batman costume: costume does not enable child to fly (Well, shoot--he had such hopes!)

#3.

Clemson, SC road sign: “CAUTION – water on road during rain.” (Isn’t there a college in Clemson called Clemson that has a good reputation?!?)

#2. 

Rowenta Iron: “do not use hot iron while wearing clothes.” (I think I understand what was meant?)

AND MY FAVORITE #1. 

San Antonio, TX: 

Cemetery Road--DEAD End. 

(irony--I love irony!)

Can’t help but wonder if there were legal suits in some of the above. And the backstories must be hilarious.

If you enjoyed these, please post your favorite labels! 

SavvyBroad Glenne

060 Savvy Summer

Savvy summer

Weary winter

When Labor Day arrives, I go into my usual period of mourning that comes on with the end of summer and the arrival of fall. I am a summer freak---I love it. 

Bring on the heat, humidity,

longer days, sandals, 

Bermuda shorts, family trips, 

and beach vacations!

I thrive on summer and come to life after surviving long, cold winters and chilly spring days. Some people are the opposite and can’t wait for the colder temps, snow, ice and all the other hazards of winter, but definitely not me. I have tried to rein in my extreme feelings about the change of seasons, but I am not very successful. Putting away sandals and other summer garb can be extremely stressful.

Don’t get me wrong – I love air conditioning and all the modern conveniences that make the seasonal extremes more comfortable. But knowing that it is warm and sunny outside sustains me while I bask in indoor cooling. 

Why do the warmer months fly by with a myriad of activities to keep everyone busy, but bring on winter and the days creep by as we are trapped indoors, iced in by snow and sleet, with events canceled on a regular basis and so little daylight.

While I truly love the weather and colors of fall, I view them as warnings of what is to come ---nasty, nasty winter. Fall days pass too quickly leading up to the dreaded months of cold.

I have made a resolution this year to try very, very hard to enjoy every day of fall and not even think for one second of what will follow--that’s not going to happen--but I am going to try. 

Friends have told me they feel the same way and are also trying to enjoy autumn’s treasures. Maybe as a group we can overcome the dire anticipation of winter!

Every falling leaf used to bring on a rapid heart rate as I dreaded the bare trees and bleak colors of winter. But I am going to appreciate every colorful flying object that is freed from its branch as it makes its way to the ground.

Who am I kidding --- I will probably still dread winter but maybe manage to get through it with hopefully a tiny bit of enthusiasm – ha!  One bright spot is I do enjoy some of the fashions – boots, sweaters, coats -- so a few new wardrobe additions might make it just a little better.

This past winter brought a little break. It was the first winter that we were both retired so we could head south to escape the weary winter days. It was amazing. No boots, shovels, gloves, hats, and heavy coats were allowed. Toes were freed from heavy socks and got to relax in airy sandals. It sure didn’t seem like February!

But I was very bad the rest of last winter. I usually walk outside in the warm months and was going to try to bundle up and keep walking-- that didn’t work. I really meant to go to the gym, but that didn’t happen either. Maybe this year will be different. (I doubt it.)

I am not sure why I have such strong feelings about the end of summer. Possibly my heritage dictates some of it. My family on both sides came from the very southern tip of Italy – “the toe of the boot” as my mother would say. The area is very warm with mild winters. I am not sure that has any scientific validity for my extreme dislike of the cold months, but it makes sense to me.

I know there is nothing I can do to stop the onslaught of bitter cold days. I will try to be tolerant and head south to Florida as soon as I can and stay as long as possible!

Frances        

059 Zen & Trim

The Zen of Trim Painting

I’ve been painting a lot of indoor trim lately. When you paint trim, you have a lot of time to think.

And I think painting trim is a lot like life:

• If you are not prepared, everything will go wrong.

• Even the most menial jobs have value.

• You must be relaxed to do a competent job.

• Use the right tool to do the job.

• Natural light is always best.

• A good support system (ladder) is always important.

• Don’t rush to do a good job. Patience is important.

• Don't worry about mistakes--most can be fixed.

• No matter how well you do it, you will eventually have to do it again!

• Keep the dog and other innocent bystanders away & safe.

• Always clean up.

Now that I have all that out of my system,

I HATE PAINTING TRIM!

  Trish         

058 Labor Day

Labor Day--Why and When

Well, dear readers, I learned something from writing this blog! The government’s philosophical mission statement says that the first Monday in September, created by the labor movement, is a holiday dedicated to the achievements of American workers who contributed to the strength and prosperity of the United States. That is nice though it does not tell the labor movement story.

Here is just a bit of the labor movement story – or the story behind the story. Seems there were two men with last names pronounced alike. Matthew Maguire, a union member machinist from the Central Labor Union of NY, made a proposal to hold a rally and a picnic. His union adopted his proposal. The year was 1882 and the month September. 

Almost simultaneously, Peter J McGuire, general secretary of the Brotherhood of Carpenters and co-founder of the American Federation of Labor (AFL) proposed a holiday in September to honor those “who from rude nature have delved and carved all the grandeur we behold”(AFL historical records). The year was 1882 and the month September. Both groups went ahead with their plans.

McGuire wanted a parade; Maguire wanted a rally and family outing.  and {parade pix} On Tuesday, September 5, 1882, crowds began to descend on New York City. Journalists suggest that over 10,000 people marched in the parade.  Side note: Why Tuesday and not Monday in 1882? 

Apparently, the men worked on that Monday, checking in with their labor union reps to make sure it was really all right to participate. Then they began heading into the city on Monday night and Monday’s plans were held on that Tuesday.

By 1896, President Grover Cleveland, aware of the growing labor movement, declared a national Labor Day holiday.

Okay! So Labor Day has been consistently celebrated for some 133 years. Somewhere along the way in my school years, I do not remember being taught this origin. 

 

I always “assumed” (and you know what we say about THAT) that Labor Day signified the end of summer holidays and the beginning of fall clothes, fall sports, new crayons, school, and . . .

yes, especially football – leading to significant brain changes for some people. 

I remember my grandmother taking white slipcovers off couches and chairs and rehanging dark, heavier drapes. Time to get ready for fall and winter. No more white shoes! Heaven forbid! I did a little research the reason for “no white after Labor Day.” The answer from several websites is that Labor Day marked the return of the wealthy from their Newport cottages to the soot and dirt of the city. Heaven forbid their summer whites would be soiled. { In all honestly, though, if I had those white shoes I wouldn’t want them dirty either!

Over the years, I am sure there have been labor union festivities, rallies, and demonstrations along with the fun of a day off. These I did NOT research as that would be too much labor! 

In keeping with the spirit of this 133 year old holiday, we will be doing nothing. Banks closed. Post office closed. Oh, maybe we’ll grill something.

Have a safe and peaceful day!

Glenne      

057 Fantastic France

Fantastic France

Large cities, small towns, green fields, lovely rivers, and rolling hills combine for amazing assaults to the senses, as natural and manmade views are overwhelming in France.

A river cruise on the Seine is how we decided to attempt to see the beautiful country that is so prominent during the weeks of the Tour de France. My husband watches the bike race for hours as he records it and plays it until the bitter end in the center of Paris. That is why he finally made the decision to take the trip which I had been wanting to do for years.

A whirlwind of stops and highlights greeted us each day as promised by the eight-day itinerary, including Paris, Giverny, Rouen, Normandy, and several lovely small towns. Who could ask for more?

The view from the boat the first day in Paris was a majestic look at the Eiffel Tower--which at night lights up and then flickers up and down the imposing structure every hour--an amazing sight that really charges the senses.

Galeries Lafayette 

Of course, Paris has so much to offer that the senses are totally in a state of overdrive that cannot be matched. Interspersed with the delicious tastes of the city are the spectacular views--from Sacre Coeur, looking down on the rest of the city to the rooftop restaurant of Galeries Lafayette department store, while partaking in local drinks and fare. It is an easy city to walk with tons of stops for libation and shopping. 

After leaving the official tour, we made our way to Sacre Coeur and Montmartre and then proceeded down the hill to find the department store I had visited many years before. I had never forgotten how beautiful it was with stained glass and a domed ceiling. An avid shopper such as me never forgets a structure like that. It did not disappoint and was packed to the gills. It only took one stop to ask for clarification of directions to find our way.

The view in front of Sacre Coeur is overwhelming rivaling a panorama that cannot easily be equaled. The size and scope of the city assails the senses in a dramatic spectacular vision.

The Tour de France had finished the week before so we could walk the course the bikers had followed but on the sidewalk, of course, on the Champs Elysse to the Arc de Triomphe and more.

Surprisingly, tourists can order and manage to pay the bill in restaurants and shops with little hassle. People were very helpful and friendly. It was rare that we couldn’t communicate with the locals – most times we managed to find what we were seeking with little help, but if we did need help, we found it.

Words cannot adequately describe Monet’s garden and house in Giverny. Every color, flower, plant, garden arrangement, and tree are beautifully arranged to get the maximum effect. His house traces the colors of the garden with each room airy and light in pinks, blues, yellows, and greens. Visitors feel as if they are part of one of his spectacular paintings 

Joan of Arc Memorial

Another amazing site was a lighting of the cathedral in Roeun. Standing among the residents of the third largest city in the country made one feel part of what the locals see and do. It was an amazing experience with families and tourists exclaiming as they watched the computer show that projected onto the historic structure and told the story of the city and St. Joan of Arc who met her end in the city center. A church and cross depict this event that is retold in the graphic show projected on the ancient structure.

What a novel idea that I am sure will catch on around the world or maybe it has but not in the U.S. yet.

Normandy was an emotional day with stops along the beaches where the Allied Forces had landed in 1944 to stem the tide of World War II and ultimately proclaim victory. I felt the presence of my uncle, my dad’s brother, who was a paratrooper who died later that year in Holland. 

What I never realized was the area especially Omaha Beach was a resort location where residents came to enjoy the beach. That is the case now as structures were restored and families vacation as in the past. But now a memorial to the war stands guard on the sandy shore as a reminder of how this life was defended and protected but at a cost.

I could go on and on about this great country, but I will stop here with the observation that there is some truth to the song--“How Ya Gonna Keep ‘Em down on the Farm (After They’ve Seen Paree?)”

056 Obsessive Compulsive?

Try the Savvy Broads' Obsessive-Compulsive Quiz

I know that obsessive-compulsive syndrome is a diagnosed psychological disorder, but truly, don’t we all have a few symptoms? As a retired librarian, I certainly have some eccentricities that could be called obsessive-compulsive.

So I thought it would be fun to do a Savvy Broads Internet survey:

How Obsessive Are You?

Circle the answer that best describes you.

    1.  Do you keep your spices in alphabetical order?

              Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

    2.  Do you count each step as you go up and down stairs?                                                        Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0   

    3.  Do you arrange your clothes in the closet by color?
              Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

    

   4.  Do you have a certain day when household tasks need to be done, such

        as cleaning on Thursday, laundry on Monday, windows once a month, etc.?

            Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

    5.  Do you eat a certain number of squares of a waffle with each bite?                                 Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

   6.  Do you fix your friends’ clothes while they are wearing them (tuck in tags, 

        straighten scarves, etc.)?

             Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

   7.  Do you line up books along a neat even row by pulling some books out 

        and pushing some back?  (A definite librarian symptom) 
              Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

   8.  Do you straighten pictures on walls other than your own?
              Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

   9.  Do you have a sign on your dishwasher that indicates clean or dirty dishes? 
        Do you use it?                                                                                                        Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

  10.  Do you make lots of lists? And actually use them?
             Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

  11.  Do you have to line up your grocery cart in the cart return with the 
         others of the same type?   
         
       (I was rearranging carts in the return when realized I might have a problem!)

             Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

  12.  Your car is clean inside and out.                                                                                                       Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0
  

13.  Do you have to write in corrections to grammar, etc., when reading 
         magazines and newspapers?
             Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

14.  Do you read all license plates and try to decipher what they mean?
             Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

15.  Everything is in neat piles on your desk.
             Yes=200      Sometimes=50     Never=0

Okay, now add up your points. 

(What you thought this is one of those quizzes that will add your score for you?)

                                                                                                  Hyphenated, I mean!

If you actually took the time to add up your score, 

You are obsessive compulsive!        

Only Somewhat OC, Trish       

055 Glenne trending

What I Did on Summer Vacation OR
My Crush on Google Trends

Hello, dear readers! 

You have found out a lot about us this past year: that Trish and her dog are always out and about and Frances is often trekking somewhere with her family.  I, however, stay home in the summertime. I don’t like heat, humidity, sand, mosquitoes, or tourists. 

What I have done this summer is spend far, far, far too much time on the internet. My husband posits that I care more about what Google says than what he says. Never! How rude! 

Although, I will quietly say that Google is often more varied and up-to-the-minute. So now that public schools are re-opening, I guess I will have some withdrawal!

I am hooked on Google Trends. Pick a subject. Any subject. Go to Google.com/trends and start playing around. Oh, my! It is news, entertainment, sports, finance, pop culture, etc., etc., etc. The trends are compiled from a wide assortment of sources – all 90 (YES,90) of Time, Inc.* magazine selections, newspapers, media sites, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, YouTube, popular bloggers, and regular news sources like ABC, NBC, and Fox.

*(Parenthetically, you may be interested to know that the new CEO of Time.Inc, appointed last fall, is Joe Ripp whose dog goes to the office with him each day. As you can see I am on the internet a ridiculous amount of time. BUT, I do water the new holly bushes (5 minutes each) – read an article, move the hose, throw the ball to Mad Max--our wonder dog--and get back on the internet.)

My “guilty pleasure” (along with chocolate) is watching reality shows on TV. Want the scoop on these shows? Just search for RealitySteve.com - real name Steve Carbonne, a linen importer (family business) and one time sports reporter, and frequently in litigation with these shows’ networks. I am just entranced to find out how often his predictions are correct. I found him through GoogleTrends. 

The algorithms used for trending are fascinating. I wish I knew how to write these. Under GoogleTrends, one can also go to www.Google.com/trends/correlate. “Correlate” is almost like writing your own algorithm.  Yes, you can compare apples and oranges or compare a trend by state, by country, or date. Compare two well-known names in the same industry or two universities or stocks. 

Check out the Republican candidates.  Late night talk show hosts REALLY want Trump to stay in the race (can’t imagine why, can you?) 

One caveat: if you are interested in serious news, be careful which of Google’s sources you examine.  

So much of our exposure is “pop culture” versus “hard news.” Really – do we care that Kylie Kardashian’s new pet bunny is named Bruce? 

But, I am interested in the Arizona dust storm, what’s happening with gun regulation, and poor Cecil, the lion. I don’t much like the “talking heads” on TV (and Nancy Grace’s voice is just annoying to my ears). 

Therefore, I still feel it necessary to read some of Time.Inc’s magazines as well as The New York Times, The Week, the New Yorker, New York Magazine, and Vanity Fair (I love Editor Graydon Carter’s mind). 

Here is an example of GoogleTrends’ list: 

So should it rain or you want to stay out of the humidity, join me in learning who’s who and what’s what with GoogleTrends. (Gosh, do think Google would pay me for this blog?)

 

Happy searching!                                                                     Glenne